The sky gradually darkened, and the evening sun sprinkled on the windowsill, illuminating the cup of cold tea. Everything around seemed to become silent in an instant, and only the ticking of the clock echoed in the empty house. She sat in front of the window, looking at the end of the street, and seemed to no longer pay attention to the passers-by in a hurry. She had seen so many of those people that she no longer cared about them. She knew that the prosperity of the city was so illusory and fleeting, just like the things she had been obsessed with – love, dreams, and youth.
Lin Xue was not a particularly outstanding woman. Her figure was very ordinary in the crowd, even a little inconspicuous. But the indifference revealed in that inconspicuousness attracted the attention of many people. At that unclear age, she also had an eager heart, longing for love and longing for someone to rely on. However, life has never been as warm as she expected. Every relationship is like a carefully woven lie, and every emotion seems so pale and powerless at some point.
I remember that when she was young, she also expected an immortal love. At that time, there was a man beside her named Gu Bin. Gu Bin was a person she met in college. He was not handsome, but he had a warm temperament that could not be ignored. Whenever they walked on campus, the girls next to them would always look back and even laugh secretly. He seemed to have what everyone envied, talent, humor, and even that warm power, which made Lin Xue feel that there could finally be a little sunshine in her life.
Their love started very ordinary, but also very warm. At that time, she was still young, with an indescribable impulse and desire. She was willing to do anything for him, even the most insignificant things, as long as she could see the light flashing in his eyes. Gu Bin also often said that he liked her innocence and concentration, as if all the beauty in the world was concentrated on her alone.
However, as time passed, Gu Bin changed. He began to be busy with his career and gradually became less talkative. Every time they met, his eyes were always wandering between busy documents and phone calls. Lin Xue knew that his heart was no longer focused on her as before, and her eyes gradually lost the original light. She watched this relationship slowly consume silently, until one day, Gu Bin said coldly: “We are not suitable.”
She did not ask why, nor did she show too much reaction. She just felt an inexplicable coldness spreading at that moment. She knew that this relationship had quietly ended before she noticed it.
Time took away all her beauty and fantasy, and she became more resilient, but also more lonely. Whenever she stood on the street and looked at those couples who were still walking hand in hand, she no longer had the desire she once had in her heart. What is love? She didn’t know. She only knew that those things that she had tried her best to pursue eventually became blurred in the cracks of reality.
Now she is still walking in the crowd, and occasionally looks back at those days. Her life is still going on step by step, but she no longer has the initial enthusiasm. She no longer expects anything, nor does she desire anyone to stay. She has understood that in this world, the only person she can rely on is herself.
Gu Bin had long left her world to pursue his so-called ideal life. He may be living a good life, living an ordinary but warm life with another woman. Lin Xue is still living quietly in the corner of this city. She looked at the pedestrians on the road and found that whether it was warmth or cold, it seemed to be just a passing cloud. Love is just a beautiful dream, which will eventually turn into nothingness the moment she wakes up.
She heard a ringing sound in her ear, pulling her back to her thoughts. She walked to the table and picked up the phone. It was a friend calling. A laugh came from the phone: “Xuexue, why are you thinking about the past again? You should be happier, life is your own.”
She smiled lightly, put down the phone, and looked at the sky outside the window. Maybe, life is your own, and the past is no longer important. She let go of the obsession in her heart, closed her eyes, and let the breeze gently brush her face. She understood that the warmth of love and the flame of dreams had long disappeared into the depths of her memory as time went by. Now, she just wanted to live freely and like a woman.